And there lays the difference between before and now.

Today I KNOW that the choice to be happy is mine.  No one else is responsible for how I feel.

Not anyone or anything else is responsible for what I do or say or think.

BTW...  It is not as simple as it sounds.  I have so many wishes that I believe if they were fulfilled all would be better.

I cannot rely on those.  Simply because I have no control over such things.  I have no control whether or not someone likes me or not.  Or what it is that they want from life.  Or what they believe in.

Oh..  how I wish!

but back then... in the "before" place it was my belief that if they loved me they would do as I wished.  I then considered myself unlovable since that seldom happened!


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