I started out writing this blog telling the story of how I came to realize that I have the choice.  Each and every day with each and everything that I think, say and do in life.
It is easy to talk about this when my choice was to stop smoking and to stop drinking.  Those are healthy choices.
It is embarrassing to talk about when I choose to play denial and procrastination.  Facing up to the choices I make in reference to my health and weight are those of shame.
Last night I weighed myself.  193.2lb..  Almost hitting the 200lb. This kept me up all night. How could I let this happen? How did it happen? Why can't I control what I eat? Why did I have that icecream? I need to stop and I don't think I can.
I don't think I can. I am crying out for help but don't know where to go! I know what I need to do, I just don't do it. My "diets" only last a couple of hours. How I wish to go to a rehab center for Over Eaters. A place where I can get help.  
I want to stop. I need to stop. Please help.

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